Celebrating Valentine’s Day a Day Late

Celebrating Valentine’s Day a Day Late

There are many couples who enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day but are often annoyed or stressed out when they try to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th. This is because one of the most popular ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by going out to dinner. This can lead to overcrowding and long waits to be seated. Some restaurants do not take reservations and even the ones that do often have difficulty honoring these reservations when there are huge crowds on Valentine’s Day. As a result there are many couples who opt to celebrate Valentine’s Day by going out to dinner a day or two late or even a day or two early. There is nothing wrong with this and it can often result in a much more relaxing Valentine’s Day celebration simply because it is taking place on the 13th or the 15th of February instead of the 14th. This article will provide some information on celebrating Valentine’s Day a day late.

If you are planning to take your partner out to dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day but are having trouble making reservations you might consider making your reservations for the day after Valentine’s Day or for the first weekend after Valentine’s Day. This will give you many additional options and will help to make your planning easier. However, if this is what you are planning you should probably also consult your partner to make sure celebrating a day late or even a few days late will not be disappointing to your partner. This is an important factor to consider because there are many who are very adamant about going out to celebrate on Valentine’s Day and may be extremely disappointed if plans are made for a day late.

If your partner will be extremely disappointed about celebrating Valentine’s Day, it might be a good idea to alter the plans rather than delaying them. For example if you want to avoid having to wait more than an hour for a table at a fancy restaurant, try cooking a great meal for your partner instead. You will still be celebrating in a really fun way but you won’t have the stress of dealing with a crowded restaurant.

Sometimes it is not merely a matter of convenience which makes it necessary to celebrate Valentine’s Day a day or two late. You or your partner may have an unusual work schedule which would make getting together on Valentine’s Day extremely difficult. For example doctors often work a few long shifts per week which can interfere with Valentine’s Day plans. If you or your partner is in this type of situation it is best to discuss Valentine’s Day ahead of time and figure out what will work best for the two of you. You might decide it would be a good idea to celebrate few days late or you may even agree to just exchange cards for Valentine’s Day. Whatever you decide you should make sure it is a decision which makes you both happy.

Finally, if you and your partner are planning to celebrate Valentine’s Day a day or two late it is important to remember that you should still treat your celebration with all of the excitement and enthusiasm as you would if you were celebrating on the 14th of February. For example if you would buy a new dress, get your nails done or get your hair done for Valentine’s Day you should still go ahead and do these things even if you are celebrating Valentine’s Day late. It will help to make the celebration feel more fun and exciting.

Pre Wedding Activities

Planning pre-wedding activities is a little something extra that's not required, but certainly fun and entertaining for the guests. If the bride and groom keep in mind the distance some guests have traveled and keep activities relevant to that level of fatigue, they're sure to hit on some winning activities.

As you go about planning activities for the wedding, keep in mind other factors as well. Do many people have children with them? Will you provide childcare or will the children be participants in the activities? If you have several guests who are older, perhaps activities can be tailored in a ay they can participate as well.

Some of the more popular pre-wedding activities include things like a group manicure. All the women in the wedding party or ho are close to the bride (and certainly this could include men if they like manicures and want to hang out with the ladies) head to a nail salon and get their nails done. This can be relaxing for many women and provide a welcome respite from the hustle and bustle of the wedding weekend. The men might choose to golf or play a game of tennis while this is going on.

Many brides and grooms choose to provide structured activities for their guests prior to the wedding. If the wedding is on a Saturday night, for example, they might choose to provide a Friday activity, especially if most guests are local to the wedding. You might have a wedding luau. Many times pre-wedding activities center around bachelor and bachelorette parties, but what about a stag party that includes all the members of the brides and grooms families? You could plan some fun (and appropriate) games and head out to a restaurant for a night of fun and games. Be sure to limit the drinking and carousing as this might not sit well with some family members.

Here is a fun activity that can be done right before the wedding. Have someone begin a gift basket. The theme of the basket is "advice for the couple" and could be started by the best man or maid of honor. They take the basket to someone else's house, perhaps an aunt or cousin and leave it on the doorstep. That person adds an item (a book on how to end spousal arguments? Or a CD of romantic music?) and brings the basket to someone else's house. This activity can begin a week or two before the wedding and everyone should know it is coming around.

The basket can also be circulated the weekend of the wedding, but this ill only work if everyone is local and if they know the basket is coming. In this case, it also might be helpful to have someone bring the basket to a house, collect the item and the take the basket to the next location, reducing the need to have each person take the basket to its next location. Once it's full, someone can be in charge of putting the basket items together, wrapping it all up to make it look nice and bringing it to the bride and groom. It can be delivered right to the wedding as a gift in and of itself.

Whatever activities you choose, be sure to keep in mind the needs of your guests and the limitations of those guests. If you want to plan an activity that includes everyone, and you choose golf, but grandpa is in a wheelchair or uses a walker, that might not be the best activity to plan.

Tags : wedding websites, wedding photographers, cheap wedding favors, wedding favorsm, destination wedding

Wedding Rehearsal Dinner Games

Wedding rehearsal dinners are a time to relax, calm down and enjoy a quiet evening before the big event the next day. But adding some fun and games into the rehearsal dinner isn't such a bad idea. It's a great way to help everyone let off some steam, calm down and enjoy each other.

If you're planning a sit-down formal dinner, fun games and activities can still be on the menu. In fact, if a formal dinner is part of the plans, having some interesting activities on the agenda is not only a good idea, but also an excellent one. There's been a lot of planning, and a lot of stress and the wedding party and close friends and family will welcome the opportunity to have a little fun.

The success or failure of any games or activities largely depends not just on the planning but your venue. If you're having a sit-down dinner in a restaurant, try to get a private room. Then a myriad of fun activities can be planned, such as "pin the veil on the bride", in which blindfolded guests spin around a few times, then try to pin the veil on a picture of the bride. Silly, yes, but also fun.

One fun activity sure to help everyone blow off some steam is charades. Whoever is up will act out a scene from the bride or groom's life, so it might be when graduating from college, or getting a huge promotion at work. The "it" person might choose to act out when the bride tripped and fell at another person's wedding or when the groom saved a dog from getting hit by a car. This is a little twist on charades that helps people get to know the bride and groom better, and adds intimacy to what is already an intimate event.

If the wedding rehearsal dinner is a bit less formal and held in someone's home, there are many more activities that can take place. For example, how about a night of playing board games? Who needs formal food? You can have that the next day at the formal wedding. At this rehearsal dinner party, the games are center stage.

Bring in some sandwiches and tell everyone to wear their comfortable clothes and settle in for a night of board games. You can set up games on different tables, divide people into groups of 4 or 5 and have everyone rotate tables at designated times. You can even instruct game players that when they move to another table, the game stays out the way it is.  So, for example, dad might begin playing Monopoly where the bride was and he's stuck with only a little money in the bank and no houses on Boardwalk.

So, let's say the bride and groom are big into sports. If the wedding is to be held in the summer and the days are long, how about a game of touch football or baseball? You can play bride's family against groom's family, men against women, or for a twist, the bride plays with the groom's family and the groom with the bride's family. Any combination works. The idea here is to have some fun, relax and enjoy each other's company.

Other outdoor activities can include anything that is physical and might help people blow off steam. Has the bride been more a "bridezilla" than anything? How about a game of tag where she's it? Or you can create two bridesmaid's dress-up trunks. Go to a thrift store, fill the trunks with old prom dresses and large-size shoes, and costume jewelry. Divide the guests into two different teams and have someone sit with a timer. The team who dresses one of the men (ideally, the groom and best man or perhaps the two dads) first wins. Be sure to have a camera at the rehearsal dinner/event, because this is one activity you'll want to have pictures of!

Tags : wedding websites, wedding photographers, cheap wedding favors, wedding favorsm, destination wedding

Cheap Wedding Favors

Depending on the size of your wedding the budget for your wedding favors can be very important. This is important because you may be planning on allowing for one favor for each guest or one for each couple. Whichever you decide to do, if you are having a large number of guests it may greatly impact the amount you can afford to spend on each favor. If you are only have a few guests you may be able to splurge on more expensive favors. However, if you are having a large number of guests on a limited budget you should consider searching for cheap wedding favor ideas.

Candles are one of the simplest ideas for cheap wedding favors. You can find simple candles available at very affordable prices. You might even consider purchasing personalized ribbons to tie pretty bows around the candles. These ribbons can usually be ordered and may include your names and the wedding date. This may sound like a pricey item but if you purchase these ribbons on a reel instead of precut it can be very affordable. A simple taper candle tied with your personalized ribbon can be placed at each place setting to create a really inexpensive wedding favor.

Candy is another cheap wedding favor idea. You find a number of different ways to give out candy as an inexpensive wedding favor. One way to do this is to purchase a pretty fabric and some ribbon, cut the fabric into small squares, put a few small pieces of candy on each square and pull the corners together and tie with the ribbon. This is not only a very inexpensive wedding favor idea but it is also a very simple idea which can be assembled at the last minute. Another way to use candy as a wedding favor is to purchase small tins and fill them with the candy of your choice. You can purchase the candy in bulk to keep the price down and separate the candy into small portions for each guest. A final way to give candy as a wedding favor is to buy candy bars with personalized wrappers. The wrappers can include your name and wedding date and even a picture of the two of you. This can be very affordable especially if you are ordering in bulk and are only using one design for the wrappers.

Packets of flower or vegetable seed also make great wedding favors which are also very inexpensive. You can stack up a few different types of seeds and tie each with a ribbon to create an attractive presentation which will not blow your budget. Another way to give flower or vegetable seeds as a wedding favor is to put the seeds in a small pot. The pot does not have to be big enough to grow the flower or vegetable it is merely a symbolic gift so it can be rather small. The pot only needs to be large enough to hold the packets of seeds. This is important because small pots can be purchased rather inexpensively while larger pots will be significantly more expensive.

Another great idea for a wedding favor which is also very affordable is pen with the names of the bride and groom as well as the wedding date inscribed on the pen. These can often be purchased for very little and can be paired with stationary and a note encouraging your guests to stay in touch. This is such a great idea for a wedding favor because it is something your gests can really use plus by including some stationary and a note encouraging the guest to stay in touch you are letting them know you truly value their friendship. You might want to even consider including a self addressed stamped envelop with the favor so your guest will be more likely to follow your suggestion and send you at least a short note after the wedding.

Tags : wedding websites, wedding photographers, cheap wedding favors, wedding favorsm, destination wedding

Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today?again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you and your spouse are arguing more and more, and connecting less and less? You may have even asked yourself, "Is this marriage a mistake?". Though you knew your life wouldn''t be like the Brady Bunch, you may find yourself surprised at just how much work a marriage can be ? and its twice as hard if only one person is working at it.

If this is your situation, ask yourself why you married your spouse? I know it sounds silly, but really?why did you marry them? "Because we were in love"- well, that''s the easy answer-go deeper. See, life happens?kids are born, cars breakdown, jobs are lost, and through all of the ups and downs that are inevitable, its important that you remember why you married this person.

Reflect:

Think of the first time you saw your spouse. What is one thing that stood out to you about them?

Remember one time when you were sad, angry or disappointed and your spouse really came through for you. What happened? How did it make you feel?

What is one thing funny thing you know about your spouse that no one else knows?

Think back to your single life, before you met your spouse. What was it like? Now, really think ? what is one small thing your spouse does to make you happy that you are here and not back there?

Remember a time when your spouse did something out of the ordinary and surprised you. What did that moment feel like?

Remember the first time you saw your spouse holding your child. How did that make you feel?

Remind:

In a quiet time when both you and your spouse are sitting together, bring up your first date. Bring up your happiest memories of this day.

Think of a funny story about when you first were married ? good choices are dinners gone bad, ruined laundry, etc.

Talk about when you first became parents. What were your fears and hopes. Mention something positive about their parenting, and their connecting to your children.

Renew

If you eat dinner infront of the TV, stop. Gather together at the table with the TV''s off, so you can actually connect to your family rather than ''veg out''.

Be nice. Okay, sometimes that''s easier said than done, but a little sweetness can go a long way. When you get up or go to another room, ask, "Can I get you anything?"

Be forgetful. Don''t remember every little thing your spouse has done that irritates you. Sometimes we hold on to the past because it feels familiar. Its not fair to hold the past against your spouse, and its not fair for them to do it to you. If they do, lead by example. Once they see you letting go of the past, they will also. As long as they know you are holding on to the past for future fight ammunition, they will do the same.

Touch. Place your hand on your spouse''s hand; lay your arm across their shoulders. An innocent touch can be just the softness and connection that your spouse is looking for.

Overlook. There is nothing gained by pointing out all of your spouse''s short comings, and when they have made a mistake don''t use it as an opportunity to put them down. Surprise them by ''not noticing'' their mistake. No one likes to have their mistakes pointed out to them. We are all adults, and its likely that they are already aware of what they''ve done.

The point is, take some time to remember why you are in this marriage, take some self control and control your end of the marriage, and take the gloves off. Your spouse is not your enemy, and remember though children are the products of marriage, they are not the glue that holds a marriage together?love is.

Living in love with your spouse can sometimes be challenging, and that''s okay- that''s why the vows read for better, or for worse. With a little bit of effort on your part, and a partner that really loves you it is absolutely possible to live in love, and that is not only a great gift to yourself and your spouse. Living in love is a wonderful gift to your children.

About The Author

Samantha Olea is a designer, business woman, wife, and most of all Mother of 2! Samantha founded a free parenting resource at http://TheBestMoms.com hoping to help every mom be the very best mom they can be! Samantha is also the owner of her own web design, graphic design, and hosting firm at : http://getwrappedup.com and AWU Gifts: http://Gifts.GetWrappedUp.com, where she helps Moms start their own business and work from their homes.

sam@thebestmoms.com', 178, 'Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations

Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months. Especially, if you are ordering custom made invitations or handmade invitations and coordinating ensembles. Depending on the intricacy of your design and because they are not mass produced, but rather assembled one by one it can take anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks for your order to arrive. Also consider the factor of the design process, possibility of errors, proofs and changes in your design.

Ideally invitations are sent 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding. It is best to send out-of-town guests their invitations 8 weeks in advance, as this will allow for making travel arrangements. Consider sending out-of-town guests save the date cards earlier, with information on hotels, flights and car rental.

Keep in mind that you will need time to address your invitations, ask family and friends for help. While doing it yourself is the most cost effective way. There are other alternatives you may want to consider: the invitation comapny may provide this service for an additional fee or send the envelopes to a calligrapher. A fun alternative would be to learn calligraphy yourself, there are many books and materials readily available.

Even though selecting your invitations may seem like a daunting task with all the possibilities available, giving yourself enough time will prove beneficial and a money saver.

It is never too early to start shopping around!

Edna Renskers is a professional wedding stationery designer and owner of Edna''s Sweet Announcements.

Handmade Wedding Stationery and More! http://www.EdnasSweetAnnouncements.com', 178, 'When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

June Weddings

From the book Spider''s Big Catch

As June wraps its arms around us like the warm hug of a favorite aunt, I begin to think about weddings. I''ve been a musician for thirty years, and I''ve played at scores of weddings and receptions, sometimes more than once for the same person. It was a way to make a living-the money was good and there was usually decent food.

As a wedding soloist, I''d sit off to the side, watching brides in white dresses and grooms in rented tuxedos promise to love each other forever. But somehow, I couldn''t shake a sadness that always hung over me as I watched, knowing that one in every two marriages will fail.

I can''t explain it, but over the years, I developed an eye for knowing whether a couple was going to make it or not. There was just something about the way the bride and groom related to each other-the look in their eyes and their body language-that offered clues as to how their marriage was going to turn out.

Then one afternoon, while our band was playing for a large reception in a small town ballroom, I casually looked across the vast sea of people. My glance moved from table to table, until I saw the bride and groom, sitting alone in a corner. They were sitting in total ease, holding hands, saying nothing.

Her flowing white dress and his tuxedo seemed out of place, but their happiness and comfort with each other was totally apparent. There was no question that those two people belonged together. They would''ve been sitting there in those same two chairs, still holding hands in exactly the same way, if they''d been wearing blue jeans and overalls at someone else''s reception.

They were at a party, to be sure-a big, loud party. But the party was really for the benefit of everyone else in attendance. They were totally comfortable just sitting in their corner, out of the limelight, watching the people they loved having a good time.

As cynical as I''d become over the years, something struck me at that moment as I watched that couple. I realized that weddings actually represent the triumph of the human spirit. Every marriage is a public statement by two people, letting the whole world know that together, they choose to believe that their union will be the one-in-two that lasts.

When thought of in that way, every wedding really symbolizes a victory of hope-in the face of all odds. Sure, it''ll take all their courage and strength to succeed, but no matter what, couples continue to try.

They know the statistics are against them-but they look straight into the eyes of the odds makers and say, "So what?"

And why not? Throughout history, people have staked their fortunes, and sometimes their very lives, on less than a 50-50 chance.

Maybe that''s why we hold so many weddings in the month of June. It''s a month that can be unpredictable-full of warmth and promise one minute, and then suddenly becoming stormy and filled with uncertainty.

As for me, since seeing that couple, holding hands at their reception, I''ve begun singing my wedding solos with a renewed hope-embodied by two people at the altar, vowing to face their future together, in spite of overwhelming odds.

© 2004. Gary E. Anderson. All rights reserved.

About The Author

Gary Anderson is a freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter, and manuscript analyst, living on a small Iowa farm. He''s published more than 500 articles and four books. He''s also ghosted a dozen books, edited more than 30 full-length manuscripts, produced seven newsletters, and has done more than 800 manuscript reviews for various publishers around the nation. If you need writing or editing help, visit Gary''s website at www.abciowa.com. abciowa@alpinecom.net', 178, 'June Weddings, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'June Weddings plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage

How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges with your spouse? Do you value being right over preserving the quality of your relationship? And how long do you stay angry after you''ve had a fight?

How you answer these questions offers a clue into how secure your marriage is. Unfortunately, too many married couples let unbridled confrontations tear the fabric of their relationship.

Every couple has misunderstandings, miscommunication, and disagreements. It''s human nature to see things from your own viewpoint. And it''s easy to forget that your spouse''s viewpoint is just as valid as yours.

Here are some tips when preparing for talks about emotional issues with your partner:

1. Take time to center yourself emotionally by sitting quietly for a few minutes. You might take deep belly breaths and count your out-breaths to keep yourself focused in the present moment, or you might meditate or pray during this time.

2. Notice any negative "chatter" in your mind and replace it with a positive statement, such as "Each time I really focus on listening intently to my spouse instead of jumping in to criticize, I''m improving our working relationship." Or "I know that we can resolve this problem about how to handle our difficulties."

3. Expect to be able to get along, talk respectfully and courteously to each other, and find creative solutions to problems. You influence what happens in interactions with others by your expectations about what you think will happen. In other words, you often get what you expect.

4. Suspend judgment and criticism so that you''re prepared to really hear your spouse. Resolve to listen deeply so that you can understand the fears and concerns that are layered beneath her (or his) surface words. When you can identify and understand her deeper concerns, you''re more likely to find an acceptable solution.

5. Make sure that you speak to your spouse with words that are respectful. Avoid profanity and refrain from personal attacks on your spouse. It''s quite different to say "I really don''t understand what you''re saying. Can you please explain?" instead of "This sounds like another one of your idiotic ideas."

6. Be willing to look at your own position and admit it whenever you are wrong. This takes humility and critical self evaluation. But it will buy goodwill with your spouse. And it could set an example that he (or she) may decide to emulate.

7. Don''t carry around resentment after an argument. Try to respectfully express your feelings and then let them go. Then try to reestablish closeness as soon as possible. Make an effort to make up by focusing on what you do agree on, and on what you like about your spouse.

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don''t love you anymore!" This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.', 178, 'Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding

Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day in a your life, and yet for many, just getting there in one piece is harder than fitting stilettos on an elephant. Why is it so difficult? The biggest problem is stress and how the interplay of all the different participants at your wedding adds or subtract from that stress. Here are some wedding ideas to have a truly successful and happy wedding.

Scientists use the term HOMEOSTASIS (homeo = the same; stasis = standing) to define the physiological limits within which the body functions efficiently and comfortably. Stress disturbs homeostasis by creating a state of imbalance. The Lord knows how easily some people can cause us imbalance. Well, the secret of all of this is that, if we know how difficult it is to change ourselves, we must then take for granted that we are not going to be able to change others, especially between now and the wedding date. So what can we do to make or create STASISHOMEO "the ability to maintain the same mental condition we enjoy now on the day of your wedding" (LOL)?

The all time stress-o-meter gives the following scores to different stress events in our lives:

Event Stress Score

Death of spouse 100

Divorce 73

Marital separation 65

Jail term 63

Death of a close relative 63

Personal injury or illness 53

Marriage / partnership commitment 50

Loss of job 47

Retirement 45

Illness in family 44

Sexual problems 39

Childbirth 39

Change in finances 38

Death of a close friend 37

Change of job 36

Taking out a mortgage or loan 31

Mortgage foreclosure 30

Increased responsibilities 29

Offspring leaves home 29

Fight with in-laws 29

I don''t know girls, but I think that a fight with the boss rates right up there with marriage.

The first thing we must do is to be able to recognize stress in others and ourselves. Stress management involves four main tasks:

ü Recognize and understand the signs of stress.

ü Identify and understand the sources of stress.

ü Learn to manage controllable sources of stress.

ü Learn to support yourself and cope with stress reactions to situations beyond your control.

Signs of Stress

Over-stress reactions include a wide range of symptoms: stomach aches, headaches, sleep problems, poor concentration, moodiness, irritability, and racing thoughts. It''s important to recognize that these are all signs of stress overload, probably not signs of a more serious condition.

Now that you know all this good stuff, does it help? No! We need some tools and strategies to help you have a Successful Wedding.

1. A great stress reducer is getting in shape for the wedding.

Let''s face it; you are going to have a second full time job. Planning and organizing a wedding is a time-consuming and energy zapping experience, not to mention the marathon parties, the family get togethers, and all that glorious shopping. Don''t forget, all the marathon parties, food, drinks, cake, drinks, dinners. Did I mention drinks? This sends your body and nervous system for a loop.

What''s the best thing to do? Go for a walk. That''s right, a nice calm, stress relieving, pound reducing walk. Or if you are so inclined, go to the gym and work out. Aspiring brides and grooms who want to get fit for their perfect day are latching onto a fitness trend where gyms, personal trainers and spas all promise weight loss, toning and a healthy glow in "bridal boot camps." The more energy you use, the more stress you rid yourself of (and it helps to tone your legs and build your cardiovascular system so that you can dance all night long at your reception!)

It is also very important to be eating right and taking time to rest both of which can vastly improve energy levels. Start drinking more water instead of caffeine and sugar-loaded liquids. Reduce salt intake. Caffeine, sugar and salt, cause chemical reactions to your nervous system by making you jumpy, nervous and high-strung, so make sure you watch your consumption of these items. Salt, or sodium, also helps your body retain water, causing that bloating, puffed-up feeling.

2. Secondly, couples have to realize they shouldn''t expect "perfection". Expect a "terrific" day and set reasonable expectations.

This actually is considered the number one stress factor ? desperately seeking perfection. You must remember what your main goal is, and that is to get married to the one you love the most in the entire world. Setting expectations that are too high will create stress and lead to frustration, and then more stress.

There will be stress, you can count on it. Why? Because there are not only a lot of decisions to be made but also many details to be worked out, and others may want, or try to influence you. Such pressure is not bad or wrong; it just requires that you and your fiancé be aware of what is really happening. Try to respond to issues and avoid reacting to things. It will make a big difference.

Remember, things will go wrong; you are dealing with people and lots of variables. Don''t sweat the small stuff; the key is that if something does go wrong only you will know about it. The best way to make sure that things don''t go wrong is to plan carefully, track faithfully, and confirm diligently.

*The week before the wedding call all your vendors and check the date, time and location with them to verify the correct details. Give a list of their phone numbers to someone in case any of them don''t show up on the day.*

3. Picture your wedding the way you want it, visualize all of your details clearly in your mind, and stay focused on what you want.

Couples are constantly re-defining weddings. They seem to place more importance on their wedding being a celebration of individual love than on fussiness, formalities or old-fashioned, outdated etiquette. They are celebrating who they are, right now.

Remember, if you fail to dream, you will live your nightmare, so figure out what it is you want and go for it. With this mental image, you can list down all the details, and one by one, when you have either completed them or delegated them to someone you trust to make sure that they get done the way you want them to be done, you can check them off. Having this list is a huge stress buster and it helps you sleep at night. Another secret for a good night''s sleep is to have a notebook beside your bed, and every time you wake up thinking that there is something you think you missed, write it down.

Often simplicity in a wedding ceremony is much more beautiful than having too much. This helps keep stress levels down as well. You can also create a great wedding website at www.22wed.com where you can keep everybody informed about what is happening and that will help keep you focused.

4. Time is always another stressful factor.

Another great stress reducer and wedding success maker is time management. Couples who begin planning early and pace themselves should be able to avoid last minute chaos. The old saying, "An hour late and a dollar short" could never be more applicable than for a wedding. Give yourself as much time as possible to dream about your wedding, write down all your goals (things you need to do), budget for each area, and give yourself time for a breather. Below you will find a basic wedding planner with guidelines as to what you might need to do and when it would be appropriate to get done.

Speaking of a breather, while planning your wedding you may have found that it has essentially taken over your life. You need to reclaim your life, even if it is only for a day or for a few hours, and take some time to yourself. Make time to connect with your partner and spend positive time together.

What is it you used to do before all of this planning? Do you like to read? Do you enjoy gardening? How about going for walks? Whatever it is that you may have let slip or sacrificed for the greater good, you need to take that time to yourself and your loved one and enjoy the relaxation that comes with doing something that you enjoy.

Learning to delegate is vital, especially the day of the wedding. Put someone else in charge of paying the vendors, moving the guest book from the ceremony to the reception site, double-checking with the caterers, or any other small task. Read through your list and assign everything! Hey, it''s your day ? enjoy it!!!

5. Relationships themselves, between the bride and groom, can be stressful and can become even more stressful prior to the marriage.

Back on the stress-o-meter, we see that getting married in itself is a very stressful change in a person''s life. When we further add to that: late nights, changes in eating habits, changes in drinking habits, fear of all kinds (failure, things going wrong, anxiety attacks, tripping down the aisle, etc), we see that things can get out of perspective with the one we love.

As the old song says, "You always hurt the one you Love", and there are other relationships other than the one with your fiancé'': those between the bride and her family, her sisters, her bridesmaids, the groom and his friends and family. The "relationships" I''m speaking of, are everywhere and not limited to the relationship between the bride and groom.

Take some time to reconnect with your closest friends. Try not to talk too much about your planning, but realize that it is a part of your life right now and your friends probably are interested. However, they also want you to be interested in their lives, so don''t forget to ask them questions and turn the attention towards them, too.

To get away from centering on ourselves, we need to do something for someone else. You will be surprised how good (and relaxed) you will feel by making someone else feel good. Cook a friend dinner, serve a meal at your local soup kitchen, baby-sit for a couple who could use a break, take your niece or nephew out for an ice cream cone...there are so many things you can do for so many people - give it a try and see how good you feel!

Another really important aspect to remember is that there are always some people (relatives or friends) who know how to "push your buttons". When you are feeling very stressed? be sure to stay away from or at least limit your time with these people. I know it''s hard, but force yourself to ? it will pay dividends in the long run.

Speaking about being hard ? JUST SAY NO! Now is not the time to be a people-pleaser. There may be many people around you who want to have their say about how your wedding should be arranged. Nevertheless, this is your day, and while you will want to accommodate others'' views, much stress can be avoided if you start as you mean to go on, clearly asserting your wishes and plans wherever possible, and not encouraging suggestions that you know will eventually be turned down. Being honest is the best policy all round.

That point brings me to the topic of arguing. Where weddings are concerned, the emotionally tense environment can lead people to make mountains out of molehills. How spoons and forks are placed on tables may never have mattered before, but they may become a hot topic of debate between parents and the bride/groom-to-be.

Try to avoid arguing over petty things. Remember that it''s better to have a simpler wedding and that in the end; it''s not the minute details of your wedding that will really make your marriage or your relationship with your family members successful.

Finally, remember the intention behind the tension. Why is your mother insisting you wear that horrid dress on your wedding day? Why is your father insisting on getting to the hall on the day of the wedding by taking the most complicated route?

It''s not because they''re your worst enemies. Their reasons are that they love you and want what''s the best for you. Reminding yourself of the intention behind the source of conflict will help you realize that while you are getting stressed over the disagreements over certain issues pertaining to the wedding, behind that disagreement there is love and concern. Your families, especially your parents, want what''s best for you and that concern is what is motivating them.

6. Money issues also frequently come up and create stressful situations.

Don''t forget to budget! Since money is such an easy thing to fight about, make sure you sit down at the beginning of the process, agree on how much money you''re going to spend, and stick to it! I know, I know, budget is as close to a four-letter word as you can get, but it also can bring you closer to those you love. If everyone is on the same page and in agreement, everything will go much more smoothly.

Grooms might find themselves more concerned about, or "stressed out" about money. Subconsciously, rightly or wrongly, men often will have the concept that they will have to take care of the women, and that includes financially taking care of them. Money and financial issues are almost always stress-inducing, and it doesn''t necessarily matter how much money someone has! Whether you are a bride or a groom, a wedding is a time where all kinds of stress can manifest itself. So do not dodge this bullet. Meet it head on and openly discuss each and every detail of the wedding with those who are financially responsible so that you can arrive at a consensus.

7. Venus and Mars Stress (taken from the pop-psychology of John Grey)

Are you and your fiancé arguing more than normal? Realize that this friction is normal because you are spending more time on wedding planning versus spending time on your relationship. Not always, but usually, guys look at the big picture and gals look at specifics, so take this difference into account when you are planning and expecting things from each other. Naturally, we are going to approach things from different angles and perspectives. Use this to your best advantage; work with your strengths and try not to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Above all, brides and grooms need to respect each other and each other''s uniqueness. Individually, they should be aware of their thresholds for stress, and how much stress they can handle in a given time period. Remember: words said in explosive or high stress situations cannot be taken back once they are said. If you''re feeling stressed out...Stop, Relax, Listen, and Communicate with each other. Look around you to see what is REALLY happening. Respond to situations and issues and avoid knee-jerk reactions. That''s why it is so important to take time away from wedding planning and spend time with each other. A romantic dinner, a bike ride -- whatever you both like to do together. (Just don''t discuss the wedding plans!)

Girls, if your guy is being rather quiet or distant, don''t take this personally. He is just crawling into his cave for a bit to get centered again ? let him. Let him deal with whatever he needs to deal with and know that he will eventually come out again for a breathe of fresh air, and he will be his usual loving self again.

Guys, your beautiful bride-to-be is working overtime to make this a super special day for the two of you. If you feel left out or that you are not getting enough attention, don''t mope or whine ? talk to her. Let her know your feelings and ask if there is anything that you can do to help her, and mean it. When her voice gets a little high-pitched or she becomes short-tempered and shrill, just go with the flow ? this too will pass. Give her a big hug and take her out for dinner and dancing, and she will be back to her usual loving, caring, and considerate self in no time. Remember the five most important words ever "What ever you want honey". Or the four most important words, "I will do that." Or the three most important words, " I Love you." Or the two most important words, " Yes dear." The most important word, "O.K."

8. Many brides fear that they will forget something important.

One way to handle stress is to stay organized while planning. Writing everything down in a special wedding notebook is a good idea. Take a few moments each day, preferably at night before going to sleep, and do breathing exercises. Then go over your list with your mate and see if there is anything that you forgot. Check off things that are done, and then mentally redo the list as if it has never been done at all to see if there was an item that you missed. This is a great way to include your fiancé in the details so that he will feel part of things.

9. Do a practice run

Go hear your intended DJ in action, or at least, get three recommendations and talk to them about his/her work.

Why is music such an important part of a wedding? It creates an atmosphere that fulfills the dreams of the bride, groom and their families. "Many brides dream of the perfect wedding, and most ''hear'' certain music in the background. We help to create the desired atmosphere, while coordinating the event to make sure it''s a success, Because every wedding is unique, it''s important to select a DJ that has a good variety of music.

Have a meal where you intend to have your reception.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try to create the affair of your dreams, long after everything is said and done, people always remember the food. It would be wise to go once or twice times to see if the quality is consistent or, as previously mentioned, to talk to at least three other couples who have had their reception at the same venue.

At least four to six months in advance, have your portraits taken by the photographer who is going to photograph your wedding.

Your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and you want to remember it with all of its beauty. That being said, your portraits are one of the very few things that will last forever. The relationship you have with your photographer is critical: it is very hard to capture fabulous photographs when you don''t get along with the photographer or that his/her style doesn''t match yours. Make sure that you get together with the photographer several time before the wedding and have a clear understanding of what the expectations are. Create a list of all the photographs that are really important to you. Create a list of all the people that you really want to have a special portrait with because the photographer can''t read minds. The photographer hasn''t a clue that Aunt Grisellda from Upper Podunk is your favourite aunt. You need to let them know.

10. GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE, COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, AND WISDOM ALWAYS TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE ? In other words, Don''t Worry Be Happy.

The biggest secret to a successful wedding is to not worry yourself to death, enjoy the day, and enjoy the moment because it will not come again.

Think it through. Go ahead and fret a little. It''s better than trying to suppress all the anxiety. The more you try to suppress unwanted thoughts, the more likely you are to become obsessed with them. That''s particularly true when you''re under a lot of pressure, stress or mental overload. So just when you''re trying to avoid unhappy thoughts, you''ll actually get sadder than if you''d confront those unhappy thoughts head-on. Ninety-nine percent of what we worry about never happens. Feel the fear, that''s part of being human. Regardless, go out and do things anyway, knowing that most of your fears are unfounded.

Take your time. It''s one thing to think about your problems. It''s another to let them dominate your thoughts. Don''t let people pressure you into making a decision you don''t want to make. If there are things about your wedding that are worrying you, focus on your worry for thirty minutes, and try to think of solutions to the problem. Research on chronic worriers shows that if they spend time at night actively worrying about their problems, the degree of worrying in their lives goes down overall

Write a new ending. People who worry can be amazingly creative. They turn any harmless scenario into a disaster by imagining the worst. Try putting that creativity to good use by turning your fears into fantasies. If you worry about tripping while you go down the aisle and falling into a candle destroying your hair-do because the veil exploded in fire, try picturing yourself being light as air and, to the amazement of all your guests, floating down the aisle while a chorus of angels sings "You are the Wind Beneath My Wings". (How''s that for "lightening up"!)

Tally your troubles. List all your worries. Are you afraid that it''s going to rain on the day of the wedding? You can''t control the weather, so file it under the heading "Beyond My Skills." Do you worry that other people find you unattractive, even when you really know you''re not? That goes on the "Creative Fiction" list.

What''s the sense of worrying about things in these categories? There isn''t any. Why worry about the weather? Why worry about things that aren''t true? Once you expose these thoughts as worthless worries, it''s easier to dismiss them.

Take action. Some worries are more legitimate. Are you concerned about your health? Well, list all the things you could do to improve things. Maybe you could start walking every day, or eat better. Then decide which items on the list you''re going to do. The secret is doing, doing, doing. When you''re actively working on a solution, worry is less likely to be a problem, and you''ll begin to feel as if you''re the designer of your life, not a victim of it.

Be a willing participant and creator of your wedding ? HAVE FUN!!! One way to let all your friends and family enjoy the planning process is to have a personal website that allows interaction and a diary up to and including the wedding day. This idea is particularly useful if you have family or friends who are out of town and can''t attend the wedding. A great website to check out would be www.22wed.com.', 178, '10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', '10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage

How do you react if your spouse announces "I want a divorce" or something similar? With shock? Surprise? Outrage?

If these are your reactions, you''ve got plenty of company. Thousands of spouses each year have this same experience. Many surprised partners in this situation begin to grill their unhappy mate with questions like "What in the #%& do you mean you want a divorce? After all I''ve done for you!"

Unfortunately, this approach doesn''t make the dissatisfied spouse change her (or his) mind. If anything, it makes them dig in their heels.

The key to keeping your marriage begins with a simple but misunderstood word: Acceptance.

What is acceptance? It means respecting and accepting your spouse''s point of view, even when you don''t fully understand it.

To help you understand how acceptance is important in stopping your divorce, let me share a story with you.

There was a tennis player on a college team whose coach had told her that her serve needed practice. But she refused to accept and act on the coach''s feedback. Again, her coach implored her to work on her technique after she spiraled into a losing streak.

Clearly, her career on the court would be short-lived unless she took her coach''s advice to heart. Finally after losing another match to an archrival in a tournament, the coach issued an ultimatum. The player would either have to do what it took to improve or leave the team.

This athlete finally came to accept what her problem was ? poor technique on her serves. Before that, she''d been unwilling to do the necessary work to enhance her performance. But once she had accepted the situation as it was, she was able to move forward and improve her game.

A marriage is much the same way. Sometimes one partner may ignore or minimize the feedback from the other for a time. This time may often stretch into years. And the frustration builds like pressure in a pressure cooker. Until finally a limit is passed and an ultimatum is issued. The offending spouse must change behavior or else the frustrated partner will leave the marriage.

At this point, a history of dissatisfaction has built up on the side of the spouse threatening to leave. Whether the surprised partner considers the reasons given to be valid or not doesn''t alter the fact that the unhappiness exists.

The first thing you must do is accept the situation as a given. Acknowledge your spouse''s unhappiness. This doesn''t mean you have to agree with your mate''s reasons. Nor does it necessarily mean accepting your partner at her word if she says that she''s leaving.

It does mean that you need to accept the fact that your spouse is unhappy and has been unhappy for some time. If you can buy this description as fitting your situation, you''ve just made a positive step forward. Because you have to understand the dynamics of your present relationship before you can improve it.

It means that emotional communication between you and your spouse has been faulty and she (or he) believes that you haven''t been meeting some of her basic needs. It means you need to accept your spouse''s discontent if you want to positively influence the disastrous turn your marriage is taking.

Don''t worry if you disagree with the reasons she gives you for being unhappy.

Whatever you do, don''t fall into the trap of arguing or telling her she''s wrong. Why? Because her perception is her reality and is the basis for her feelings and the decisions she makes.

So your first job is to understand and accept your spouse''s perception of your relationship. Only then can you do something constructive to save your marriage.

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don''t love you anymore!" This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.', 178, 'How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems

Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things differently than you do? Do you get upset if he or she has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, you have bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your marriage. Here are three important points to consider:

1. Fear underlies control issues.

Control issues cause problems in many marriages. The feelings you experience at those times can be very intense and may include rage at the other person. Most people feel more secure when others around them mirror their opinions, beliefs, and choices. Your safety needs and fears contribute to your wanting others to be just like you. The old adage, "There is safety in numbers," refers to this primitive fear of standing alone.

Also, many people feel more in control when they can predict the behavior of others and when others meet their expectations. Then they don''t have to experience the discomfort of growing, changing, or stretching themselves. Instead, they can pretend that their world is logical, orderly, predictable, and safe.

2. Thinking your spouse should be just like you harms your marriage.

Your control issues are also triggered by viewing your spouse as an extension of yourself. This perception can result in trying to dictate which clothes your spouse wears, how she wears her hair, who she is friends with, what political views she holds, and what she can or cannot do. While your spouse may initially make some changes trying to keep the peace, you are creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship that will eventually foster rebellion and resentment.

3. Using insults and name calling are attempts to regain control.

While nothing sinister is involved in many control issues in relationships, pathological behavior can be triggered in some instances. For example, a partner who is angry that the spouse did not follow his dictates could become physically and emotionally abusive. The partner may think he has the right to "punish" the other person. Name calling and derogatory put-downs, such as "What a stupid thing to do," are often used to re-establish control over the other person.

It''s easy to point a finger at your spouse and to state that he or she needs to change. It''s hard to face your own unresolved issues head-on and take responsibility for how you need to change. As you become more aware of control issues in your marriage, the starting place for change is always with yourself and your response to what is happening.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don''t love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.', 178, 'Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems, Marriage-Wedding, Marriage-Wedding articles, Marriage-Wedding information, about Marriage-Wedding, what is Marriage-Wedding, Marriage & Wedding Information', 'Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems plus articles and information on Marriage-Wedding

The Magic of Flirting

Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a member of the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a quick outline on how you should go about the complex, sometimes fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all beings with your approach.

The Approach

One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility of initiating contact. You must approach!

Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step. Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.

The Signs

The person who has been approached will always signal the other''s presence in some way?a sign. This signal is not like a train whistle, however, more a subtle body language which you can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply may look up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a glancing eye contact.

A display of total obliviousness to the one who is approaching generally indicates lack of interest altogether. Don''t be discouraged. But if the one you approached shows absolutely no interest, then it''s time to re-group and try again. But let''s say the approach works. You have your positive acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk

The Verbal Exchange

The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene around them. The key word here is MILD.

This is the classic place for the clever "line," but cleverness is not required. At this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing valuable insights about life or determining philosophical compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the developing contact.

Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from "please pass the pickles" to "your looking great tonight", to "have you seen the waitress?". Without some form of verbal response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur. Let''s say all is going as planned. Time for body language.

Body Language

Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also begin to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn toward one another until, if all is goes well, they are fully facing one another. This is your goal.

This step can take minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet, without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back toward you for long periods of time! But if they don''t?

Touching

The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally brush their hands against one another while reaching for a drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who are dating. If you''ve reached this point, then flirting has now become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get out there and flirt.

The Art of Flirting is really the Art of making first contact. You only have one shot at making a great first impression. By following some of the guidelines we''ve established in this article, you should now be equipped to locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting relationship.

By: Andre Leblanc

Read more articles on relationship, sex and more at http://www.datingsas.com

You may use this article on your webpage only if you keep in 100% intact with are link or link directly to it.

Andre Leblanc has several years experience in the online dating and relationship field. Including implementation of new technology and creation of websites. Currently he is working on datingsas.com', 132, 'The Magic of Flirting, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'The Magic of Flirting plus articles and information on Dating

The Cyber Lothario

Are you writing to someone who is romancing you off your feet? Does this guy seem to know just what to say or write that gets you a step or two further down the garden path?

Perhaps more dangerous than the notorious Internet rapists and murderers are the Cyber Lotharios. Maybe you know one. Smooth as silk. Seduction is his native language.

More dangerous, because these guys (well, maybe there are girls too, but I am more familiar with the guys) are GOOD.

These guys are the Internet equivalent of a Bill Clinton, if Bill Clinton hadn''t gotten caught. They are the cyber version of handsome -- they write beautifully, know just what you want to hear and tell you. They POUR it on, and for a thirsty woman, it is nectar from the Gods.

These fellows post on dating sites indefinitely, waiting for the unsuspecting newbie to the dating site. You might contact him, he might contact you, but like a used car salesman, he knows a pigeon when he sees one.

Then slowly, softly, but determinably, he has his way with you.

How do you tell if you have one of these guys on the wire? What if he is a really nice guy, really meaning every word he says?

Well, one thing would be if you find yourself agreeing to things that you never would if you were in your right mind. Particularly if that has to do with sex. Or maybe money.

These guys make manipulation feel like a warm bath. You just slide right in and it feels delicious.

But there is a certain vagueness, particularly about past relationships, and perhaps about future plans. These guys may reassure, but they also will leave themselves a way out.

How can you tell?

Well, one thing you can do is ask for a relationship history. Then pay attention to how he responds, as well as what he actually says.

Does he groan and moan about doing the job? Is he grudging in what he tells you? Or is he open and serious, understanding what you are asking and why?

Does he seem to have trouble remembering his own history, what her name was, what order the different relationships came in? Is he reluctant to divulge, or does he sound like he is fudging?

Does he seem to be moving you fast towards a romantic getaway? Maybe he makes plans for the two of you to meet, and reserves only one room. Is he heavily sexually suggestive and titillating? Does he ask questions like "What kind of lingerie are you wearing?"

Even though a new and legitimate relationship can be highly sexually charged, a guy who is seriously interested in you and a possible future with you will be protective and understanding of you and your feelings.

If you feel antsy, pay attention. If your hormones may be doing your thinking, put on the brakes. Better to let this dangerous Clark Gable type swim away than to be left flat and busted.

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
Helping singles find someone wonderful!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women""
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph. 601-619-0030
Stay current with my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com ', 132, 'The Cyber Lothario, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'The Cyber Lothario plus articles and information on Dating

CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers

Did you know that Match.com has around twelve million members, but only a million or so of those listed have paid their dues?

The most asked questions from Romance Clients? "Why don''t they answer my emails?" Well, first off, you don''t know and never will. But it''s a pretty good guess is that this guy or lady is cheap.

If you have had much experience as an Internet dater, you''ve undoubtedly had the experience of putting out first email contacts to prospective Sweetheart and then gotten no answer back. A response rate of 30% to first emails is considered good!

On Match.com as well as many of the other Internet dating sites, you can post a profile for free, but you have to pay to email other listers or respond to emails sent to you.

You can''t tell the payers from the freeloaders. And people who aren''t paid members can''t email, either to contact you first, or to answer when you write. That means that a very high percentage of those people you are carefully looking over are too cheap to pay less than a dollar a day to be able to email you!

Maybe that''s a lot of what''s behind the 30% who do get back to you. They''re the only ones who are paid up!

Though I live now in Mississippi with my new husband Drew, I''m from Maine. I still own a house there on a beautiful island in the mid-coast area, so I get back to visit once or twice a year. Every spring, after the snow melts, all the debris that has accumulated over the winter along the roadsides gets exposed to the light of day. And along with tulips and daffodils, up spring the "For Sale" signs.

For years I wondered about why so many houses came up for sale every spring. Every other house seems to be on the market.

Finally, someone explained to me that lots of folks just put out those "For Sale" signs sort of for sport. All the locals know that summer people are heading this way, and those "city folks" have very distorted ideas about fair property values. So the sport is to put out a "For Sale" sign, ask a very inflated price, and see if anyone will bite. If you''re lucky and catch a rich one, you just may be able to fund your retirement. Otherwise, life goes on, you get to stay in your house, and then try again next year. Sounds like a form of digging for gold to me.

Believe it or not, lots of people who are listed on dating sites are doing just that: They put out their "For Sale" sign with their profile and look like they are seriously "in the market" for a Sweetheart. Really, they have a way over-inflated idea of what they can get and are waiting to see if some fool will bite. These folks have stuck out their "For Sale" sign, but they aren''t seriously looking. Except for the jackpot.

In the Internet dating world, this is deceptive advertising in the worse way, because the reader has no way of knowing if the profiler they are interested in is really serious and a paid-up member or not. The ONLY people on these online dating sites who are emailing anyone are the ones who have paid! All the others are freeloading teases.

If you are considering CyberRomance or are already posted on a site or two, pay your dues like a grown-up. Do your part to contribute to the energy and integrity of this wonderful resource for singles. If there''s a time to "put your money where your mouth is," this is it. If you''re serious, pay up. If you''re not serious, stay out of the game.

Kathryn Lord, Romance Coach
Helping singles find someone wonderful!
eBk: "Find A Sweetheart Soon! Your Love Trip Planner for Women""
4870 Oak Ridge Road, Vicksburg, MS 39183 / Ph. 601-619-0030
Stay current with my complimentary enewsletter *eMAIL to eMATE*
Subscribe at http://find-a-sweetheart.com/newsletter.html
www.Find-A-Sweetheart.com / Kathryn@Find-A-Sweetheart.com ', 132, 'CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'CyberCheapskates and Net Gold Diggers plus articles and information on Dating

A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever had the experience of liking a woman, being a perfect gentleman, and treating her like a queen, only to have her reject you in favor of someone else (possibly very handsome) who doesn''t treat her right, or doesn''t seem to care about her much at all? These kinds of men have been called "bad boys," "charm boys," or "players." When you are interested in women, do they tend to see you as a friend or "brother" rather than a romantic interest? Do women tell you you''re "too nice"? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values.

Let''s brainstorm for a minute. What makes charm boys or players attractive? They are fun, spontaneous, unpredictable, mysterious, and act as if they don''t care what others think of them (also known as confidence). They follow their own rules and don''t let others (including their dates) walk all over them. And they often look good.

So what can you do? You don''t have to engage in risk-taking behaviors in order to succeed with women. Suggest some "safe" ideas on the spur of the moment; for example, "Let''s go get some sushi/ice cream/a Margarita," or, "Let''s go for a drive and see where we end up." If this is not the usual "you," you may enjoy your new-found spontaneity. You can be mysterious/unpredictable without violating your principles. Don''t call her the day after getting her phone number or the day after a date. Give her time to wonder whether you''ll call; keep her guessing. People often want what isn''t easy to get, and women like a little challenge.

You''re the man. Many women are looking for men who are confident and decisive, who can be relied on to get things done. On a date, take command but don''t be pushy. Always have a Plan A and a Plan B, so you don''t miss the concert just in case the restaurant loses your reservation and there''s a 1-1/2-hour wait. But always be flexible, in case your date hates Chinese food, for example, or she just told you her favorite musical group is in town, tonight only. Low-cost dates conducive to getting to know each other include the zoo, a museum, or miniature golf. In addition to saving you money, these low-cost dates also minimize the feeling that you have to "spoil" her or "buy" her affection with an extravagant wining-and-dining evening. And if she likes you, she won''t mind a "cheap" date; she just wants to be with you.

Keep it light and upbeat. Don''t be needy or act nervous. You might be a bit anxious while on a date, but she doesn''t need to know that. Keep things light and humorous, and pay attention to her. That in itself will help you take the focus off you and help you feel more confident. And be a gentleman (you''re already good at this). For example, always offer to pick up the tab unless she insists on paying, open doors for her, etc. But don''t overdo the gifts, lest you appear desperate.

Let her talk. This is where nice guys have an advantage. Most women like to communicate verbally and welcome the chance to be heard. (But make sure you listen; don''t just let your mind wander.) She will be impressed if you remember details about things that are important to her, such as her pet''s name or her favorite book. If you met her online, review her profile for questions you can ask her about her interests.

Neatness counts. Take another hint from the charm boys. You don''t have to be a Brad Pitt look-alike, but make the most of what you have. Review your grooming, clothes, and accessories with an objective eye. If you want feedback, ask a friend--possibly a female friend--for honest input. Or tune into one of the new TV shows which focus on wardrobe/grooming tips for men.

Have a life (and a backbone). Just because you are dating a woman doesn''t mean you drop everything else (including your own friends, hobbies, and interests). After all, relationships can come and go. Keep being yourself. You are not always at her beck and call. When you really don''t want to do something (for example, if she wants you to cancel your ballgame or night out with your friends to go shoe shopping with her), it''s okay to decline. Telling her no may be difficult for nice guys, but if she''s worth keeping, she will respect you for this and value her time with you more. To soften the blow, you might offer her an alternative get-together. For example, "Sorry I can''t make it on Saturday. How about I take you to that new play you''ve been wanting to see on Sunday instead?"

How does she rate? Remember: You have the right to evaluate her, not just the other way around. Does she deserve a second date? Is she relationship material (if that''s what you''re looking for)? Just because she''s attractive/smart/classy doesn''t necessarily mean she''s right for you. Does she treat you well? Is she kind? Does she have decent self-esteem? Is she giving? If you''re looking for a long-term relationship, can you see yourself still with her in 20 years, when some of the supermodel looks may have begun to fade?

The good news for nice guys is that as women get older, perhaps having survived a bad-boy heartbreak or two, they are more likely to appreciate nice guys. Make a list of your good points, the qualities you have to offer. Keep at it. And start believing that you are a catch (or at least act like it)!

For more information, visit the author''s website http://www.therapy-conscious.com

Copyright 2004, Ann L. Palik

Ann L. Palik is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, California, specializing in helping single people create healthy relationships. ', 132, 'A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'A Nice Guys Guide to Dating Success plus articles and information on Dating

Online Dating 101 - Online Dating Basics

Online Dating 101 by Kevin Koger

Feeling like there''s something that''s just not quite there yet in how you''re going about this whole online dating thing? Don''t feel bad, chances are you''re one of the many people who''re still pretty new to this gig. Heck, internet dating has only been around for about eight years, so obviously no one out there can claim to have all the answers.

But hey, seeing that we''ve been perfecting the art of matching people up online all eight of those years, we''d like to share a little of what we''ve learned about how to make the best of your online experience. Who knows, one of these pointers might be just what you''ve been missing in perfecting your own online dating adventures.

Therefore, without further ramblings, here are the:

TOP 10 TIPS FOR SUCCESSFUL ONLINE DATING

SAY CHEESE! Look your best and submit a great photo of yourself for your profile photo. A good picture really is worth a thousand words, and research shows that you are nearly 10 times more likely to be noticed if you post a photo to your profile.

And, the same stats hold true when you contact someone you''ve noticed on the site. If you don''t have a photo, don''t be surprised if the responses aren''t too quick in coming back.

Now, don''t get mad a start making accusations about all the shallow people out there. While it may be true that some people place too much emphasis on physical appearances, the bottom line is it does make a difference when two people are meeting and making initial evaluations of their interest in each other. And, it''s also a trust thing. It is always going to be much easier to interact with a face than with a blank box.

FRESH IS GOOD Change your profile picture and greeting occasionally, add photos to your photo album, and login regularly-this will not only get you noticed, but it will help others get a more varied and up-to-date idea of what constitutes the real you.

When something interesting happens in your life, tell us about it in your profile greeting. This is a great way to let your online friends in on what it might be like to actually spend time with you. That''s the main goal of online dating isn''t it, to find people you''d finally like to meet and spend time with face-to-face? Anyways, it''s always more fun to hear about a crazy experience you''ve just had than to read the same old descriptions of you and your cat that have been on your profile for months now.

As for photo albums, this is the icing on the cake. Not only do these photos round out and confirm the physical picture your friends are forming of you, but they also go a long way in helping others really see what makes you "you." The head and shoulders shot of you in your profile photo is nice and all, but when they see you hanging 10, running with your Chihuahua, or shoving a big fat piece of cheesecake in your mouth ? now they''re getting to know you.

I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME Have fun describing yourself without making excuses about why you''re on the site or who convinced you to finally go online. Tell us what makes you unique.

Believe it or not, being an online dater no longer places you on the fringes of society or even in the minority. Online dating has grown up and moved into the mainstream, and so you can now happily assume that the face-saving qualifiers of past times online are now obsolete. And, more importantly, just realize that they don''t help your cause when meeting others online.

One more thing ? try to be original. Yes, I''m sure you really do like the outdoors and want to meet someone who looks good in a tux and in jeans, but so does everyone else! Tell us some things about yourself that wouldn''t necessarily come out in an elevator conversation with your tax accountant. For example, what are you passionate about? What would you do if no longer had to work for a living? What''s your favorite flavor of gelato? Do you secretly wish everyday was sampling day at the grocery store? ? now it'' getting interesting!

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY Don''t be fooled thinking telling fibs will impress that special someone enough to get relationship started... it will turn them off! Be your best self.

When you really stop and think about it, what do you think your new friend''s reaction is going to be if when you meet for the first time it''s obvious you''re not the person they thought they were going to be meeting? "Oh .. hi. I see that you''ve been dishonest with me from the get-go here, but hey, I''m still thinking we''ve got a great shot at having an open, trusting relationship for the long-term" Obviously not.

They''re going to be hurt, and disappointed. And, your relationship is unlikely to get past the wave goodbye as your friend gets back in their car to go home.

IT''S NICE TO BE NICE Okay, so you get a little grouchy once in a while-don''t we all? However, people like nice people. Please be considerate and polite ? it will make this whole online thing so much more enjoyable for all of us!

There''s an interesting social phenomenon researchers have discovered in online interactions. They''ve found people often change their standards of politeness and diplomacy when a conversation is happening online, versus face-to-face.

Don''t believe it? You might be surprised if you were to go back and look at some of the things you''ve said. Look at some messages you''ve sent, and then consider saying the exact same words in a face-to-face or a telephone conversation. Sound a little rough? Don''t feel too bad, it happens to the best of us, just try to keep this in mind the next time you''re typing out an email or instant message.

One more thing-please don''t ignore people. A quick "thanks, but no thanks" note is so much better than no reply at all. In fact, next time you''re replying to a message on the site, check out the new "Thanks but No Thanks" template. It''s a quick way to nicely let someone know you''re not interested in corresponding.

YOU CAN PICK YOUR FRIENDS ? Invite your friends along! Create Activity Groups, go on group dates, try Express Dating, enjoy travel events, and just enjoy the net together. After all, instant messaging alone isn''t enough to build solid relationships.

Group dating and group events simply make a lot of sense for online dating. Not only does it make those first dates less stressful, it often makes them more fun, and it definitely makes first meetings a much safer proposition.

Have you ever tried Activity Groups? They''re a great way to meet people with common interests in a safe, fun group setting. You can join a group that''s already been created, or you can create your own and invite all your friends to join ? and their friends ? and their friends ? you get the point.

BREAK OUTA THAT SHELL Don''t be afraid to make the first contact. Online dating makes it easy for all you shy ones out there to break the ice, because you get to do all the initial getting to know each other from the comfort and safety of your own computer.

To start, just send a Flirt or a quick email message saying Hi-and do it often! You might be surprised how many of our great members suffer from lack of attention from their online peers. Not only might you find someone with whom you''re very interested in maintaining contact, but you''ll probably be making someone''s day.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS If your first internet efforts haven''t turned up "the perfect one," don''t despair. Hundreds of new people sign up every day on the site, so just come back to see Who''s New. You may also want to consider expanding your searches-don''t be too intent on sticking to your itemized checklist for eternal mates.

You might also want to try some different searches from time to time. Because there are about a million different things you might find attractive in another person, it''s nice to mix up the criteria you''re searching on once in a while. For example, you can search by their Occupation, any Keyword or combination of keywords you can think of, and many others.

UH OH ? THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE FUN! Don''t be afraid to have some fun along your path to relationship happiness! Enjoy getting to know people and understand that many happy relationships and even marriages start with a good ol'' friendship. And, don''t rush it!

You''ve heard animals can sense fear? Well, we humans can be pretty perceptive as well (except for that one guy who just can''t take a hint). So, don''t think others can''t sense when you''re frustrated, dejected, conceited, holier than thou, fed up, etc. etc. Put a smile on, and enjoy the ride, because even if the first few people you meet aren''t Mr./Mrs. Right, it doesn''t mean you can''t have some fun in good conversations with them.

You may also need to be a little bit patient as you head off into the brave new world of online dating. Not all marriages are "love at first site," and even if yours is, it may take a lot of looking before you "site" that special someone. And so, once again ? enjoy the ride!

USE YOUR NOODLE Ya know, that gray matter between your ears? That''s your noodle. Use it! Be smart, be cautious, and follow our safety guidelines, your instincts, and the spirit in all your dating activity.

Done right, online dating is a lot of fun, and it''s a great way to meet some wonderful people ? just ask the thousand-plus people we''ve had submit success stories to us in the past few years! So, enjoy it, and follow these ten tips, and hopefully we''ll be getting a success story from you sometime soon.

Visit www.metromingle.com today to meet local singles in your area in a clean and wholesome environment.', 132, 'Online Dating 101 - Online Dating Basics, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'Online Dating 101 - Online Dating Basics plus articles and information on Dating

How To Choose a Dating Service

There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if not thousands, how do you even begin to decide where to register and start your online dating experience?

You could just pick one at random, create a profile, and sit back and wait for the other members to beat a path to your email inbox. Who knows, you could get lucky and it might work out first time. But even a tiny bit of investigation beforehand could save a lot of time and frustration!

The trick is to be prepared. You probably wouldn''t go off to buy a new car and start by trawling around dealerships at random, you would already have an idea as to what sort of car you want ? how big, how fast, how much money you had to spend, and so forth. Based on these criteria you would have a good idea of which car showrooms to visit to find the right sort of vehicle for your particular needs. So the first question to ask yourself, is what do you want out of a dating site? Sounds obvious ? a date! But what sort of date? Are you looking for a serious relationship possibly leading to marriage? Or are you after a casual partner and you''ll see where it leads? Or perhaps you just want some uncomplicated fun. The good news is that among the myriad of services out there on the web, there is something to cater for every requirement. Some sites will suit all tastes, but there are many that specialise, and the more specific you are about what you want, the better your chances of finding it.

Before looking at the sites on offer, think about how you will write your personal profile. Jot down a paragraph or two about yourself, your interests, and your hopes for a partner. Then write a few words about what you are looking for in a potential dating match. Doing this offline will help you structure in your own mind what sort of date you are looking for, and then when you go and look at some dating sites, you''ll easily be able to pick out those that offer the best chance of providing what you want. The added benefit of course is that when it comes to filling in your profile online, you will be prepared and wont be sat in front of your screen lost for words. Instead your profile will read in a very natural and honest way.

I would always recommend choosing at least two sites to register with and put your profile on, after all, they are almost all free to start with ? you only need decide if you want to pay when and if someone of interest turns up and you want to make contact.

Websites like The Dating WebReview can also save you time. The reviews will quickly give you an idea about the services each dating site offers, and whether they specialise.

Choosing an internet dating site isn''t difficult. In the end it comes down to finding one that you enjoy using. After all, if it appeals to your taste, then you already have something in common with the other members.

About The Author:
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship counselor and regular contributor to http://www.dating-webreview.com
She lives in London, England with her husband and two children.', 132, 'How To Choose a Dating Service, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'How To Choose a Dating Service plus articles and information on Dating

Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks

Six months ago an old school friend and I were chatting over coffee, putting the world to rights as women do. She was bemoaning her lack of success in meeting the "right sort" of men. I asked her if she had tried using an internet dating service, and the look of horror that quickly appeared on her face gave the instant answer ? of course not! Internet dating, she informed me, was for the sad, desperate, geeky or freaky.

Sadly this type of response is typical of people from all walks of life. Why sadly? Because those who instantly dismiss such services are missing out on a great opportunity.

The traditional argument for not using the internet to meet someone is that it is not natural. So what is natural? Where have people traditionally met their husbands, wives, lovers, and friends? Statistically, over the past 50 years the most common place for meeting ones spouse has been the workplace. This is hardly surprising given the ever increasing amounts of time most people are finding themselves working. Other common meeting places include bars, nightclubs, and parties, and some lucky few meet their lifetime partner early in life at college or university. However, the workplace remains number one for long term relationships. The reason for this is simple; lasting long term relationships are usually born out of robust friendships, and strong friendships form over time. Spend eight hours a day five days a week with the same people and you will get to know them very well. It is not uncommon in the modern world to spend more time with your colleagues than with your family, an unfortunate but true fact of life.

The increasing amounts of time we as a society are spending working is leaving less time to spend in social environments outside of the office, which means less opportunity to meet new people. So if you don''t meet someone at work, where else is there? Enter the dating agency.

Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. However, it offers some unique advantages for those seeking a partner. Firstly it has lowered the cost of running a dating service, and that means agency dating has been opened up to a much wider audience. Secondly, it has broken down geographical barriers in a way that off-line agencies could never hope to. This is an important point because not everyone is looking for their future husband or wife on their doorstep. Indeed not everyone is looking for a future husband or wife; the explosion in internet dating has made it easier than ever to find new friends and correspondents across the globe.

These two points mean that some of the bigger agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. With that many people, if you are serious about finding a partner, lover, or a friend, then the internet is simply too big a resource to ignore. And ''net dating is safe too; there is no need to exchange real names or even email addresses until you feel you know someone well enough. All the services allow you to block unwanted communication and so there is no fear of being pestered. Used sensibly, internet dating can be safer than almost any other way of meeting people.

The internet has revolutionised the way we work, shop, conduct our financial affairs, and entertain ourselves. To use it as a medium for meeting new people is a logical step in our fast changing world.

After that chat six months ago I convinced my friend to post a profile on a dating site, she didn''t even have to pay anything to do so unless she wanted to start sending messages to other people. Now I never see her because she is spending all of her time with her new man. She didn''t find him in five minutes like some of the sales pitches would like you to believe, but then six months ago she didn''t expect to find him at all.

About The Author:
Sara Blackmoore is a relationship counselor and regular contributor to http://www.dating-webreview.com
She lives in London, England with her husband and two children.', 132, 'Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks, Dating, Dating articles, Dating information, about Dating, what is Dating, Dating Information', 'Internet Dating - Its Not For Geeks plus articles and information on Dating